Don's Blog
When people react or act in a way that is undesirable, it is possible that with a change in the words used (reframing) we can change the entire outcome to be one that is positive and desirable. It is a matter of changing the "frame" of reference... there is "content" and "context" reframing.
Reframing... what is your perception?
Have you ever noticed that if you say it or think it, often it will come true? With this kind of power, it is best to say and think the right thing. What I will share here is called "content reframing" in the world of NLP. This is often the most used method of reframing in a therapeutic setting. However you will discover this is something one can use in everyday life. Often this involves redefining or relabeling to elicit a different perspective or response.
I am reminded of a story that goes something like this... There was a man who had a daughter that seemed to be going through the terrible teens age where everything as a response to her father was a "NO". She was not keen on being parented and a bit of a rebel in her father's eyes. The father thought this was unacceptable behavior, as he was a successful salesman and able to overcome many obstacles, including the dreaded response of "no". His very livelihood was dependent on his ability to never take "no" for an answer. He could meet new clients with their various forms of rejection and win them over. The father began to take the behavior of his daughter personally and felt it his duty to change her ways. He began a mission to get her to say "yes", just like he does so successfully in business. He tried every technique he knew and none of them seemed to work on his daughter. She continued to be the very same, defiantly saying "no" almost all of the time. His frustration levels began to rise with his failures to get her to say yes to even the simplest of things, so he sought out therapy for his daughter.
After the first session the therapist had with the daughter, he called the father into his office the very next day. When the father arrived, the therapist asked the father. "Do you love your daughter?" the father replied "of course I do" The therapist asked, "Would you do anything to protect her?" He said "Of course I would. What is the meaning of all this questioning?"
The therapist said, that all teenagers go through phases and that your daughter's ability to say "no" is a matter of context. The father asked what do you mean? The therapist said, if your daughter were on a date with a young man and he began to make advances that your daughter did not want and asked her to do something she did not want to do, what would you want your daughter to have the strength to say? The Father began to smile and said "NO!"
You see it is all a matter of context that allows us to put things into perspective. There are many techniques with NLP that are related to reframing. This was an example of content reframing. There is also six-step reframing, context reframing, couple reframing, individual reframing, positive reframing, negative reframing, and sensory reframing to name a few.
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